Sir
LIVING in Sofia takes almost all of us foreigners on a similar journey.  We can live a wonderful life here with dollars or euro, taking taxis at a whim, eating at increasingly good restaurants, attending fine musical events, and enjoying the summer life of vibrant cafes and the lively bustle of the streets. But we all notice this place we are enjoying and even loving is physically a mess. For the elderly, a walk on the broken and potholed sidewalks can be a life-threatening ordeal, for the physically disabled living in Sofia must be a nightmare or even impossible. We learn the average wage of a worker. We find that our taxi driver had been a cardiologist.

Many people, particularly the older retirees, are seriously lacking money. The mess, we decide, must be from a lack of money. But then comes the realisation that there is something else going on here that is not simply about money.  I have heard many Bulgarians refer to the cause as “The Bulgarian mentality”.

My husband and I have lived in poorer but less rundown cities in Latin America and China (Manchuria). So, I realise that something else is going on in this beautiful country filled with well educated people. To me, after some months of watching and questioning and discussing why the sidewalks are allowed to be so broken, why the parks are in such disrepair, and why apartment blocks are so unkempt and among the worst we’ve seen anywhere in Eastern Europe, it appears to me that many Bulgarians are suffering from what I can only describe as psychological depression.

I am not a psychologist, I am not a therapist, but I do know the signs of depression and avoidance. When a person seems indifferent to their environment, be concerned. When a person blames everyone but themselves, be concerned. When a person becomes paralysed and allows unsafe conditions for the vulnerable in their society, be concerned. Wellness is noticing what is going on and then finding ways to make it better.  It’s often doing small tasks to make one feel better, involved. Wellness is changing one’s attitude from victim to problem solver. 

What concerns me is the treatment many Bulgarians are seeking for their depression.  So far all hopes for a cure have failed. Their government has continued to fail them, and that is certainly depressing. But Bulgaria seems to be waiting to be medicated, and what if the perfect government never comes?  In the meantime, the depressed seem paralysed. The parks continue to deteriorate, the trash on the streets accumulates, and the public areas of housing complexes go unpainted and broken. A vicious circle sets in as the environment becomes increasingly more depressing. Few seem to practice self-help, and even fewer turn to organising group therapy.

I care greatly about this city. Because of that, I care about my fine neighbours who are educating their children well so they can “have opportunity” and go out of this country. Can I help them change their “mentality?”   I can only start with little things, modelling how to make small improvements in our rundown apartment building. Today I scrapped advertising labels off the glass on our once-beautiful carved front building’s door. A few weeks ago I put out a large water bottle and pan which I keep filled during the summer heat for our two friendly street dogs. I pick up papers on our street which are blown about from the overstuffed trash cans, or tossed down by the depressed who are used to living with ugliness. I even pick up papers around some of the once wonderful but now shabby sculptures in city parks, hoping others will follow.

Maybe the curious don’t know I am an outsider. Maybe some people who watch me are children and are a little glad that an adult is making things prettier.

Perhaps at least one of them will think, “I can do that.” And perhaps they will have a little hope that they too can make a small difference.

Summer is ending and my husband and I are about to leave for home in Los Angeles. We have bought and renovated an apartment here in Sofia mainly as a summer home but we’ll be back in October, and probably throughout the year. But wherever I am, here or away, I plot, I plan, I dream of bettering Bulgaria.

This time I leave with a mantra popping out at sometimes inopportune moments with our Bulgarian friends:  “This is a beautiful city. It is a mess. In the long run it can only be fixed by Bulgarians. You are a Bulgarian. It starts with you.”

– Judith Hansen
Sofia