Once upon a Cold War time, MI6 would have been on the opposite side to Bulgaria’s spooks. Now, it seems, they are dead keen to outdo each other in the silliness stakes.
We know from a recent column by The Sofia Echo’s Rene Beekman that Bulgaria’s State Agency for National Security has just not quite got on top of this whole internet thing. But MI6 has, and not necessarily in a good way.
The UK’s secret intelligence service has paid for what amount to classified ads on Facebook, perhaps not the worst commercial decision considering that their ad could be seen by the social networking site’s estimated 36 million users. Facebook is reported to be fifth in the world in traffic, although the fact that periodically it is barred in Syria and Iran (presumably, servers are decapitated in observance of some form of Sharia law) may bar some of MI6’s recruitment hopes. Would-be James Bonds are told their employment prospects would be enhanced by a firm grasp of, among others, Arabic, Dari, Farsi and Pashto. If you think that the last three are among the Seven Dwarves, either you should not apply or you are George W Bush. If you think that they are names of Bulgarian chalga singers, it is not impossible that some day you will be right.
It turns out that if you would like to know a little bit about just what a job with MI6 entails, it seems that you should jump from Facebook to eBay where, just recently, a camera containing a clutch of MI6’s secrets was sold for just 17 pounds sterling. Reportedly, the camera – a conscientious citizen drew the transaction to the attention of the authorities – contained images and details of terrorism suspects. Had the character Q not been written out of the forthcoming 007 epic Quantum of Solace, as he was with Casino Royale, one can quite imagine John Cleese expostulating something along the lines of: “Oh, do try not to muck it up again, 007”. (I would want Cleese brought back to a future film at least for the line: “Don’t mention the Cold War”.)
Given the continuing controversy around SANS and its curiosity about the phone records of MPs, one can be grateful that its steps so far in cyberspace have been faltering ones. One can imagine that it may only be a matter of time before SANS’ Greatest Hits turn up on YouTube or at least its Bulgarian equivalent website, vbox7.
Like many scandals in Bulgaria, the SANS story may all come to nothing. Or perhaps the words of the Bard (no, George, that’s not an Al-Qaeda codename) may take on new meaning:
Last scene of all,
That ends this strange eventful history,
Is second childishness and mere oblivion,
Sans teeth, sans eyes, sans taste, sans everything.
