THE morning after is one of the most serious gastronomic shocks you will ever experience. And since you’re likely to have already said “Nazdrave” a dozen times to welcome the New Year, it’s too late by then to prevent a hangover. But you can at least alleviate the symptoms. Here are some amusing hangover cure ideas to keep you busy.

Some Native American tribes used to run until they broke out in a sweat. They would then lick their sweat and spit it out, to get their body rid of the poison. Soaks in the Middle Ages would down a plate of bitter almonds and dried eel. In 19th century England, chimneysweeps lauded the healing properties of a long, warm, soot milkshake.

The proverbial Assyrian Paste was made of a teaspoon of ground swallow’s beak and a teaspoon of myrrh. It is recommended to eat it as quickly as possible and wash it down with a glass of water. In Mongolia, drunks are said to slurp down a pickled sheep’s eye in tomato juice. And in the Wild Wild West, whisky-swilling cowboys swore by a cup of rabbit-poo tea.

Friends of ours have suggested everything from club soda to the Bull’s Eye (OJ and a raw egg). Hungover Bulgarians gulp down the brine off the keg used to pickle and store sauerkraut (the so-called “zeleva chorba”). Yoghurt is a classic Bulgarian elixir for the morning after. And local veteran soakers swear by the beer and tripe soup combo.

Talking of beer, the “hair of the dog” must be mentioned. This refers to the remedy of drinking more alcohol to relieve the effects of alcohol consumed the night before. You feel so awful when you wake up with a hangover because your body is going through mild withdrawals from an alcohol overdose. By drinking more alcohol, you may alleviate some symptoms of the hangover, BUT the effects are only temporary.

And now, behold the fruit of painstaking research, The Almighty Hangover Emergency Cure. While the ingredients in this kit are based on hard science and not personal mythology, it must be said that there really is no cure for a hangover in the same sense that penicillin is a cure for an infection. There are several things, however, that you can put into your body to assist rapid recovery. Check out the ingredients.

First take the pills (by the way, a Vitamin B before beers will make a kegload of difference in the morning - vitamin B2 is good but B1’s the best). Then put the rest of the ingredients in a blender, mix them, and drink the mixture up. If necessary, follow up with lots of Gatorade/Lucozade/Isostar (or any other isotonic sports drink), and bouillon soup.

This elixir will rehydrate your body, replace essential vitamins and minerals, and help rid your body of some of the toxic byproducts of metabolised alcohol. The milk will settle your stomach, the honey will provide an instant lift due to its sugar content, and the banana will release sugars at a sustained rate to keep you up after the honey’s effect has faded.

The Almighty Hangover Emergency Cure

2 aspirins
600mg vitamin C
1 tablet vitamin B-complex
1 banana
1 small can V8 (or any vegetable juice)
6 large strawberries
2 tablespoons honey
1 cup orange juice
1-2 cups milk (or soy milk)
1/2 teaspoon salt
dash of nutmeg 

Preparation time: 10 minutes (or longer depending on just how bad your hangover is...)
Serves 1