(Third in a series about international relocation)
Your boss is dropping hints about the lifestyle in India; a team of servants for your spouse, a great international school for your kids and a challenging management position for you. Hmm...He failed to mention the malaria, the poverty and the nuclear brinksmanship with the neighbours.
As we discussed in last week's article, some countries are not exactly the garden spots described in tourist books. Your organisation may dangle more money and/or a promotion in your face to sweeten the assignment. My advice? Look before you leap. Today there are more resources than ever to help you learn in advance what it's like to live in another country. You may find a better job, but more money will not compensate for the stress and strain imposed on your family, or you may get lucky and find the posting that's a hidden jewel. Either way, in today's international climate you bear the responsibility to be informed and to make sure your family is informed.
That last bit is really important. When family members are left out of the information loop it causes complete heartache once arrived. The expression we use is: "she didn't get the memo." The memo on Bulgaria would include: stray dogs, bad roads and intermittent electricity and water supplies. The bottom line is, be honest and join forces to make your next posting a family adventure not an adjustment nightmare.
Beverly Roman is author of Footsteps Around the World: Relocation Tips for Teens and Home Away From Home: Turning Your International Relocation Into a Lifetime Enhancement. Her books are filled with solid tips about moving children internationally. She says, "Career moves do not have any meaning to children, so explain why you believe the decision is the right one for your family and how you plan to make the most of this adventure. This presentation needs to be appropriately timed and carefully explained in a manner that is relevant to each one of your children. Speak openly and often about the move and encourage lots of questions about their concerns.
Now, how to answer those questions? Your first stop should be the Tales from a Small Planet website (www.talesmag.com). Look under the Real Post Reports section for "an uncensored view of life" in your destination country. Answers to questions about daily life, pollution index, and security and health concerns are written by local expats. Since these reports reflect personal opinions, I like the list of objective links also attached to each report: fiction and non-fiction choices about each country as well as reference sources.
If you are ready to dig deeper, go to www.expatexchange.com. You can navigate by country, topic or forum and read expert advice or peruse articles. Use the Chat with Expats option to exchange email with locals. A quick peek at the Bulgaria chatroom shows the increased foreign interest in buying property here. Other sections of the website inform about the nuts and bolts of relocating - everything from shipping your vehicle to furniture rental and mail forwarding features.
Of course not everyone relocates for their job. Sometimes it is for love, for religion or for education. Some of the best resources for country backgrounders are in these categories. Canadian author Robin Pascoe hosts a fantastic website accessible at www.expatexpert.com. She has lots of topical information about expat parenting and culture shock issues and also offers an "ask the expert" question box for direct inquiries. Her new book, titled Moveable Marriages, has recently been released and she has added a moveable marriages chatroom. That should provide some saucy comments about expat relationships! Besides the Going Abroad and Living Abroad sections, my favorite element of this website is the links section. This is the most comprehensive and informative list of expat links I've ever seen.
Don't let your boss or organisation rule your roost. Use these resources to make the best decision for you and your family.
Additional Resources
WEBSITES:
- www.talesmag.com - Tales from a Small Planet website. The Real Post Reports section contains everything you need to know about living in another country. Written by local expats.
- www.expatexchange.com - Progressive online community with chatrooms that allow you to connect with someone from your destination country. Great for asking advance questions.
- www.expatexpert.com - From author Robin Pascoe. Her new book Moveable Marriages has now been released.
- www.britishexpats.com - Expat support group for Brits living abroad.
- www.foreignwivesclub.com - An online community by and for women in bicultural marriages.
BOOKS:
- Dads at a Distance: An Activities Handbook for Strengthening Long Distance Relation-ships, and Moms Over Miles: An Activities Handbook for Strengthening Long Distance Relationships by Aaron Larson
- Figuring Foreigners Out by Craig Storti
- Footsteps Around the World: Relocation Tips for Teens (2nd Ed.), and Home Away From Home: Turning Your International Relocation Into a Lifetime Enhancement by Beverly D. Roman
- Military Brats: Legacies of Childhood Inside the Fortress by Mary Edwards Wertsch, in-troduction by Pat Conroy
- Missionary Children: Caught Between Cultures (2nd ed.) by Dr. Doris L. Walters
Your boss is dropping hints about the lifestyle in India; a team of servants for your spouse, a great international school for your kids and a challenging management position for you. Hmm...He failed to mention the malaria, the poverty and the nuclear brinksmanship with the neighbours.
As we discussed in last week's article, some countries are not exactly the garden spots described in tourist books. Your organisation may dangle more money and/or a promotion in your face to sweeten the assignment. My advice? Look before you leap. Today there are more resources than ever to help you learn in advance what it's like to live in another country. You may find a better job, but more money will not compensate for the stress and strain imposed on your family, or you may get lucky and find the posting that's a hidden jewel. Either way, in today's international climate you bear the responsibility to be informed and to make sure your family is informed.
That last bit is really important. When family members are left out of the information loop it causes complete heartache once arrived. The expression we use is: "she didn't get the memo." The memo on Bulgaria would include: stray dogs, bad roads and intermittent electricity and water supplies. The bottom line is, be honest and join forces to make your next posting a family adventure not an adjustment nightmare.
Beverly Roman is author of Footsteps Around the World: Relocation Tips for Teens and Home Away From Home: Turning Your International Relocation Into a Lifetime Enhancement. Her books are filled with solid tips about moving children internationally. She says, "Career moves do not have any meaning to children, so explain why you believe the decision is the right one for your family and how you plan to make the most of this adventure. This presentation needs to be appropriately timed and carefully explained in a manner that is relevant to each one of your children. Speak openly and often about the move and encourage lots of questions about their concerns.
Now, how to answer those questions? Your first stop should be the Tales from a Small Planet website (www.talesmag.com). Look under the Real Post Reports section for "an uncensored view of life" in your destination country. Answers to questions about daily life, pollution index, and security and health concerns are written by local expats. Since these reports reflect personal opinions, I like the list of objective links also attached to each report: fiction and non-fiction choices about each country as well as reference sources.
If you are ready to dig deeper, go to www.expatexchange.com. You can navigate by country, topic or forum and read expert advice or peruse articles. Use the Chat with Expats option to exchange email with locals. A quick peek at the Bulgaria chatroom shows the increased foreign interest in buying property here. Other sections of the website inform about the nuts and bolts of relocating - everything from shipping your vehicle to furniture rental and mail forwarding features.
Of course not everyone relocates for their job. Sometimes it is for love, for religion or for education. Some of the best resources for country backgrounders are in these categories. Canadian author Robin Pascoe hosts a fantastic website accessible at www.expatexpert.com. She has lots of topical information about expat parenting and culture shock issues and also offers an "ask the expert" question box for direct inquiries. Her new book, titled Moveable Marriages, has recently been released and she has added a moveable marriages chatroom. That should provide some saucy comments about expat relationships! Besides the Going Abroad and Living Abroad sections, my favorite element of this website is the links section. This is the most comprehensive and informative list of expat links I've ever seen.
Don't let your boss or organisation rule your roost. Use these resources to make the best decision for you and your family.
Additional Resources
WEBSITES:
- www.talesmag.com - Tales from a Small Planet website. The Real Post Reports section contains everything you need to know about living in another country. Written by local expats.
- www.expatexchange.com - Progressive online community with chatrooms that allow you to connect with someone from your destination country. Great for asking advance questions.
- www.expatexpert.com - From author Robin Pascoe. Her new book Moveable Marriages has now been released.
- www.britishexpats.com - Expat support group for Brits living abroad.
- www.foreignwivesclub.com - An online community by and for women in bicultural marriages.
BOOKS:
- Dads at a Distance: An Activities Handbook for Strengthening Long Distance Relation-ships, and Moms Over Miles: An Activities Handbook for Strengthening Long Distance Relationships by Aaron Larson
- Figuring Foreigners Out by Craig Storti
- Footsteps Around the World: Relocation Tips for Teens (2nd Ed.), and Home Away From Home: Turning Your International Relocation Into a Lifetime Enhancement by Beverly D. Roman
- Military Brats: Legacies of Childhood Inside the Fortress by Mary Edwards Wertsch, in-troduction by Pat Conroy
- Missionary Children: Caught Between Cultures (2nd ed.) by Dr. Doris L. Walters
