EUROBASH
First of all a quick note about the Eurovision Song Contest, although I must admit that in the past 40 years or so, I only missed a few, this celebration of nationalistic culture is getting on my nerves.

I believe that the key for success for Bulgaria to have a chance to win the competition, is to create a song that would represent a combo of culture. The song would have to be multi-ethnic and multi-lingual so we can gain the support of the mainly immigrant communities in the other countries.

Besides the usual English, it should have some Bulgarian, Turkish, Greek, Russian and other Slavic words in the song. It should have hints of Chalga in it but it still has to be pop. It should be sung by a woman, sexy enough to become Miss World, surrounded by even better looking male and female dancers.
The topic of the song should be our love for the Balkans with a title such as ‘Balkan Number One’ this will take care of the loyalty of our neighbours.
We should ask our resident German composer Marcus Padotzke (of Slavi Show fame) to compose the song, so it will be not only excellent music but also have German support. I will volunteer myself to bang one of the drums so to get some Dutch votes and maybe get one of the young Saxe-Coburgs to bang another one to revive the Spanish love for Bulgaria.

PLANET USA
Last Saturday I came to realise that although Americans may at times look and feel to Europeans as if they come from our planet, there are moments that they seem to us as if they have just come of the Starship Enterprise.

As the taxi that I was sharing with an Irish friend on the way back from the terribly boring Imoti Exhibition back into the centre got stuck in a Prom Party Traffic Jam outside the Radisson Hotel we decided to jump out and grab a beer and watch the last few minutes of the FA Cup Final match in the Flannagans Pub.

As we arrived we were told to go and sit outside since the bar was being closed for a secret service security sweep since the place was being taken over by a NATO cocktail party. Under normal circumstances I would high-tail it out of such a situation since I am terribly allergic to this kind of boring gatherings. But as I was walking away, I asked the manager what the final score was. When I found out that it was still 0-0 I realised what had happened; although the game had gone into overtime, the NATO spooks were evicting the British and other football fans from the bar.

Suddenly a group of mainly Manchester United supporters found themselves on the pavement trying to watch the remainder of the match on their mobile phones. (it looked better in the TV commercial).

The mainly American security guys had absolutely no sympathy for the situation as Soccer is not even a real sport in the US of A. No matter how much the Radisson staff sympathised with their regular football watching European Expats, the Might of the Yanks prevailed.
Although I support the Arsenal when I have to make a choice between British teams, I did feel for those poor Mancunians, first the takeover by the American Creep from Tampa and now this.

My friend David and I decided to leave the match for what it was and positioned ourselves on the terrace in front of the hotel where a new spectacle unfolded. (Sometimes Justice comes in the most surprising and in this case attractive packages.)

After American and Bulgarian security forces had successfully got rid of the last football supporters and had declared the square ‘under the horses ass’ a no parking zone, the first of many fancy cars decorated with balloons started to arrive. And although they really tried, the spooks could not spoil this party. A hundred or so kids arrived to have their Prom Party in another part of the Radisson Hotel and they all wanted to be dropped off right in front of the main entrance.

A wonderful chaos was created by the drivers and passengers of this young and joyful crowd. I would like to buy a beer for the boy who did a full skid-spin in a red sports car in the middle of the square.

Just like the staff at the pub, the Bulgaria Security Police who had full understanding of the situation and obviously respected the fact that this was to be one of the most important evenings of these young graduates, dealt with the situation in an admirable fashion, leaving the Americans and other NATO security folk baffled.

For once it was not me who was lost in Bulgaria. Nazdrave to all graduates!!!