This summer I started to ride my bicycle to work. I had bought the bike two years ago, but somehow my friends managed to talk me out of actually using it as a regular mode of transportation in this city, rather than occasionally using it in the park.

I decided that by using pavements and car-free streets such as Vitosha Boulevard, I would survive. After all, I was born and raised in central Amsterdam where riding your bike in busy traffic is a common activity.

During the same period, and to my surprise and bewilderment, the bicycle has not only become a weapon in the battle of the local elections, but also a tool for publicity and displays of responsible corporate citizenship.

Last Sunday, Dutch courier company TNT launched their programme to donate bicycles to staff members who would undertake to ride the bike to work on a regular basis. I found it a great initiative and hope that we will see many of their bright orange two-wheelers on the streets of Sofia.

I wanted to write more about why the mayor did NOT get on his bike and the minister did, how proud the Dutch ambassador is of his company bike and how my buddy Max Behar keeps fit on his...

However, last night I received an e-mail that included a guide to driving in the pearl of the Balkans. I thought you might find it useful, especially since the mayor disclosed that every working day the KAT (traffic police) in Sofia registers 500 to 1000 cars to join the mayhem in the streets of this city.

A guide to driving in Bulgaria...

1. Indicators will give away your next move. A confident Bulgarian driver avoids using them.

2. Under no circumstance should you maintain a safe distance between you and the car in front of you, because somebody else will fill in the space, putting you in an even more dangerous situation.

3. The faster you drive through a red light, the less chance you have of being hit.

4. Never get in the way of an older car that needs extensive bodywork. With no insurance, the other operator probably has nothing to lose.

5. Braking is to be done as hard and late as possible to ensure that your ABS kicks in, giving a vigorous foot massage as the brake pedal violently pulsates. For those of you without ABS, it is a chance to strengthen your leg muscles.

6. Never pass on the left when you can pass on the right. It is a good way to prepare other drivers entering the motorway.

7. Speed limits are arbitrary figures, given only as a suggestion and are not enforceable in Bulgaria during rush hour.

8. Always brake and rubberneck when you see an accident or even someone changing a tyre. This is seen as a sign of respect for the victim.

9. Learn to swerve abruptly without signalling. Bulgaria is the home of high-speed slalom driving thanks to the Department of Public Works, which puts potholes in key locations to test drivers’ reflexes and keep them alert!

10. It is tradition in Bulgaria to blow your hooter at cars in front of you that do not move three milliseconds after the light turns green.

11. To avoid injury in the event of a collision or roll-over, it is important to exit your vehicle through the windscreen right away. Wearing your seat belt will only impede your high-velocity escape from danger.

12. Remember that the goal of every Bulgarian driver is to get ahead of the pack by whatever means necessary.

13. WARNING! Never come to a complete stop at a stop sign. No one expects it and it will result in you being rear-ended.

Future pedalists please beware that all the above is correct and moreover applied every second of the day. Be careful my friends, be very careful!


Koos Jan Schouten (1954) was born in Amsterdam, has lived in Bulgaria since 1998, owns www.webfactory.bg and has been married since 2002 to his lovely Lilly.