MY daughter was not quite three years old when she announced, "Mummy, when I grow up I want to have boobies and smoke cigarettes!" I was horror struck. OK, the boobies - time will tell; but smoking? What kind of an example had I been setting to my young children by smoking in front of them? Riddled with guilt, I told her it was a bad habit and that I was going to stop.
I've been doing this column for several months now and one could easily get the impression that I am in control of many of the issues addressed. This is not the case this week.
My confession is that in spite of several attempts I have not yet succeeded in kicking the habit. What I have done, is to stop smoking in front of the children! I hope my son doesn't read this, he is convinced that smoking is bad for you and that I no longer smoke. It just shows what smoking can do you - health issues aside. I believe in an open and honest relationship with my children and really am not proud of the fact that I am deceiving them in this matter, but at the same time do not want to be the one to set a bad example.
Having said that, children do not necessarily start smoking just because their parents smoke. In fact, children of heavy smokers are often fervent anti-smokers. More often than not it is peer pressure, usually in the teenage stage of life, that gets children hooked. I was 15 when I had my first cigarette and I liked it. I was at boarding school, smoking was against the rules and added excitement. My grandfather once told me that he threw up after his first cigarette and was never tempted again. I often wish this had been the case with me.
Giving up is not the problem - I've done it many times, even for long periods up to three years. I blame working in Bulgaria for my relapses. (We smokers like to blame and find excuses).
When I arrived here in 1992, I had been off the 'ciggies' for nearly two years. All of a sudden I was landed in a smoke filled environment where people didn't even hesitate lighting up while you were in the middle of your meal. Much of my work involved socialising, which meant spending time in smoky bars and nightclubs. My eyes would start to burn and my head would throb as I found myself getting more and more irritable. I was however expected to be calm and charming at all times. Throw in a few flight delays, aircrafts landing in Sofia while you were waiting in Plovdiv and tourists irate at not having running water in their rooms and my nerves were ready for stabilising. At the end of the winter season I returned to being a non-smoker and a reformed anti-smoker. I remained such until I started to work again and relapsed. I stopped again when planning and carrying my second child and relapsed when returning to work.
It seems there is no escape from the vicious cycle. I am living and working in Europe's heaviest smoking nation; where consideration for non-smokers is still highly inadequate. Even to this day there are very few restaurants that offer their clients a non-smoking area with the exception of western chains such as Pizza Hut and McDonalds.
While I would never smoke in a non-smokers home, or in an enclosed environment with children, this level of awareness and consideration is not common locally. Visitors to our home ignored the bold "No smoking" sign and I even had a fight with a doctor at the Government hospital in Lozenets, who insisted on smoking during my ante- natal consultation! Look in the cars and you will see people puffing away with children inside. Finding a non-smoking taxi is still a rare treat (or at least a cabbie that asks "if you mind" before he lights up).
Until recently Sofia Airport was like one huge ashtray and Balkan Airlines was a flying gas chamber because no one paid any attention to non-smoking zones.
Rules and regulations in the aviation industry have brought about huge changes in favour of the non-smoker, which I whole-heartedly support. The new airport facilities are a clean, bright and smoke free. A special smokers lounge is available for those in need.
Taking a long haul journey these days, however, can be quite an ordeal for a heavy smoker and although it doesn't adversely affect a light smoker like myself, I did find myself wondering on a recent trip to the US how smokers survive. Nearly all airports and all airlines are smoke free. I didn't even notice any smoking areas in the transit airports. Passengers can spend up to 20 hours in an environment where smoking is prohibited. One Bulgarian I spoke to was deliberately breaking his journey to LA in New York just to have a cigarette!
Thank goodness my addiction was never so bad, in fact I used the opportunity of visiting the States to stop smoking. It was so easy - there just isn't anywhere to smoke and I didn't once in 10 days feel the desire to smoke! (You can guess what happened when I got back here!) In the country that introduced the branded cigarette and invited you to "come and taste the Marlboro country", smokers these days are treated like outcasts. Even office workers are reduced to smoking on the streets and many of the younger generation view smokers as criminals!
There must be a balance. It's about options and freedom of choice both for smokers and non-smokers without adversely affecting each other.
As I take my son to school, we pass 30 or more teenagers huddled outside the school gates smoking. So much for all the trouble I take to hide my habit and my guilt!
I've been doing this column for several months now and one could easily get the impression that I am in control of many of the issues addressed. This is not the case this week.
My confession is that in spite of several attempts I have not yet succeeded in kicking the habit. What I have done, is to stop smoking in front of the children! I hope my son doesn't read this, he is convinced that smoking is bad for you and that I no longer smoke. It just shows what smoking can do you - health issues aside. I believe in an open and honest relationship with my children and really am not proud of the fact that I am deceiving them in this matter, but at the same time do not want to be the one to set a bad example.
Having said that, children do not necessarily start smoking just because their parents smoke. In fact, children of heavy smokers are often fervent anti-smokers. More often than not it is peer pressure, usually in the teenage stage of life, that gets children hooked. I was 15 when I had my first cigarette and I liked it. I was at boarding school, smoking was against the rules and added excitement. My grandfather once told me that he threw up after his first cigarette and was never tempted again. I often wish this had been the case with me.
Giving up is not the problem - I've done it many times, even for long periods up to three years. I blame working in Bulgaria for my relapses. (We smokers like to blame and find excuses).
When I arrived here in 1992, I had been off the 'ciggies' for nearly two years. All of a sudden I was landed in a smoke filled environment where people didn't even hesitate lighting up while you were in the middle of your meal. Much of my work involved socialising, which meant spending time in smoky bars and nightclubs. My eyes would start to burn and my head would throb as I found myself getting more and more irritable. I was however expected to be calm and charming at all times. Throw in a few flight delays, aircrafts landing in Sofia while you were waiting in Plovdiv and tourists irate at not having running water in their rooms and my nerves were ready for stabilising. At the end of the winter season I returned to being a non-smoker and a reformed anti-smoker. I remained such until I started to work again and relapsed. I stopped again when planning and carrying my second child and relapsed when returning to work.
It seems there is no escape from the vicious cycle. I am living and working in Europe's heaviest smoking nation; where consideration for non-smokers is still highly inadequate. Even to this day there are very few restaurants that offer their clients a non-smoking area with the exception of western chains such as Pizza Hut and McDonalds.
While I would never smoke in a non-smokers home, or in an enclosed environment with children, this level of awareness and consideration is not common locally. Visitors to our home ignored the bold "No smoking" sign and I even had a fight with a doctor at the Government hospital in Lozenets, who insisted on smoking during my ante- natal consultation! Look in the cars and you will see people puffing away with children inside. Finding a non-smoking taxi is still a rare treat (or at least a cabbie that asks "if you mind" before he lights up).
Until recently Sofia Airport was like one huge ashtray and Balkan Airlines was a flying gas chamber because no one paid any attention to non-smoking zones.
Rules and regulations in the aviation industry have brought about huge changes in favour of the non-smoker, which I whole-heartedly support. The new airport facilities are a clean, bright and smoke free. A special smokers lounge is available for those in need.
Taking a long haul journey these days, however, can be quite an ordeal for a heavy smoker and although it doesn't adversely affect a light smoker like myself, I did find myself wondering on a recent trip to the US how smokers survive. Nearly all airports and all airlines are smoke free. I didn't even notice any smoking areas in the transit airports. Passengers can spend up to 20 hours in an environment where smoking is prohibited. One Bulgarian I spoke to was deliberately breaking his journey to LA in New York just to have a cigarette!
Thank goodness my addiction was never so bad, in fact I used the opportunity of visiting the States to stop smoking. It was so easy - there just isn't anywhere to smoke and I didn't once in 10 days feel the desire to smoke! (You can guess what happened when I got back here!) In the country that introduced the branded cigarette and invited you to "come and taste the Marlboro country", smokers these days are treated like outcasts. Even office workers are reduced to smoking on the streets and many of the younger generation view smokers as criminals!
There must be a balance. It's about options and freedom of choice both for smokers and non-smokers without adversely affecting each other.
As I take my son to school, we pass 30 or more teenagers huddled outside the school gates smoking. So much for all the trouble I take to hide my habit and my guilt!
