Some decades ago, a popular comic depicted some its characters unearthing several broken slabs, and piecing the puzzle together to form the name "King Parnozone".

Immediately, so the little square panels told the story, there was excitement about the major find; archeologists, the media and the mayor are summoned; photographs are taken; plans for a museum dedicated to the late monarch are hatched; speculation begins about this new revelation that Mayan or some other form of ancient civilisation was just below the tarmac of this part of Middle America.

The final panel. The town dunce, alone, ponders the broken panels; and rearranges them to read, correctly,"No parking zone". (All right, those of you good at anagrams got here three paragraphs ago.)

Not to offend anyone’s religious sensibilities, but memory of that story sprung to mind as the saga of the purported discovery of relics of John the Baptist unfolded in the local media and then found a niche in the international media, including the Telegraph, the Wall Street Journal and even a lengthy exposition on CNN. The discovery, for the record, was of bone from a skull, and a tooth attached to a bit of jaw. It would be cruel to suggest that it was a story made to measure for news editors desperate for human interest material in the dog days of August, to leaven the somewhat more serious and substantial stories about a tragic season of natural disasters, from Russia to China and Pakistan.
 
The gospel according to…
Bozhidar Dimitrov.
John the Baptist always has provided fertile material for lively minds, especially given the Salome angle; viz Oscar Wilde. Bulgaria’s irrepressible minister for Bulgarians abroad, who doubles as director of the National History Museum, and as a prolific author and television show host, dominated the early days of August 2010 as the country’s most visible Cabinet minister, roping in the Prime Minister into the John the Baptist story, luring Finance Minister Simeon Dyankov to Sozopol – not only to witness a religious ceremony around the supposed relics, but also to promise further funds for archeological research on two islands, including the one where the bones were found.

Dyankov’s promise inspired Dimitrov to essay a bon mot, that the relics had "worked their first miracle" by persuading the Finance Ministry to part with money for research. On Dimitrov’s part, it was a display more good-humoured than what he reportedly had to say about archeologists who expressed doubt about the John the Baptist story. At least, the "miracle" quip showed a Dimitrov closer to earth than the one who proclaimed that the bits and pieces of bone would make Sozopol a "second Jerusalem". In the guise of historian rather than prophet, Dimitrov gave a lengthy interview to a Bulgarian-language daily in which he gave his newly-considered view that in the Bulgarian narrative, the Christian tradition was more important than the fact that this was once the home of the Thracians.

Suddenly, it seemed that those "welcome to the land of Orpheus" campaigns of yore suddenly had been consigned to the underworld. Dimitrov went on to explain that whereas Thracians were ruthless acquisitive asset-grabbers, an ancient equivalent of today’s mutri (gangsters), Bulgarians’ roots lay really with Christian traditions.
 
Losing their heads
Local and international media depicted Bulgaria as proudly boasting about the John the Baptist discovery (missing the Bulgarian internet forum commentaries darkly suggesting that the whole thing was a put-up job to help get tourists to Sozopol, Dimitrov’s birthplace).

When foreign media gently suggested that some believed that it was over-hasty to proclaim the bones to be those of John, the pro camp claimed that "Vatican expert Michael Hesseman" had declared them to be authentic.

Some media reports claimed that throngs were flocking to Sozopol’s St George church, where the bones – now encased in a reliquary of gold and silver, a gift from Borissov – were being kept. At least one Bulgarian diarist visited and found no crowds at all.

More than two weeks into the story, Dimitrov continued to insist that money spent on archeology would bring dividends in tourism. According to local website Focus, Dimitrov enthused: "Any funds for restoration and conservation and the settlement of historical and pilgrimage tourism will be returned tenfold, a hundredfold".
 
Bones to pick
Interviewed by CNN, professor Kazimir Popkonstantinov of Sofia University, the first academic to claim that the material found was relics of John the Baptist, said that the "key" clue to the relics' origins was a tiny sandstone box found alongside the reliquary with a Greek inscription: "God, save your servant Thomas. To St John. June 24."

Popkonstantinov said the date, celebrated by Christians as John's nativity, indicated a direct link between the saint and the site. The rest of the inscription suggested the bearer of the box used it as an amulet for protection, perhaps carrying the relics in a simple container to avoid attracting attention, he speculated.

"We knew we could find a reliquary there and our expectations came true," Popkonstantinov said in comments emailed to CNN. "It seems rather logical to suggest the founders of the monastery did their best to bring relics of its patron saint."

Fabrizio Bisconti of the Vatican Pontifical Commission of Sacred Archaeology told CNN that there were "thousands" of alleged relics of John the Baptist. He said the commission would "wait until a more thorough study has been conducted" before expressing an opinion.
 
Trade and industry
Few have questioned why any remains of John the Baptist should have ended up on a small island off Bulgaria. Even the slightest acquaintance with medieval history will be enough to know that there was a brisk trade in relics; several historians see pilgrims to Jerusalem and the Middle East as the lineal ancestors of package tourists, with souvenirs being generated according to market demand. Even the most trivial acquaintance with the issue enables every high school history student to be able to say, "you know, they worked out that if all the pieces of the true cross were put together, there would be (fill in appropriately large number of your choice in honour of this whiskery urban legend).

Why would St Ivan island have relics of John the Baptist? Why not? Long ago, a boat ride to the monastic community, and in the folds of a monk’s robe, hidden perhaps, disguised, the spiritual wonder and excitement rising as the oar strokes bring the sacred relics closer to shore and sanctuary… of such romanticism, legends are born.

Nor should it be forgot that the relic trade include looting and swopping, the latter rather like the practices of 20th century museums, a Napoleon glove for a Phoenician coin, perhaps?

A footnote: in the end, probably as a matter of Government protocol, the 850 000 leva allocated by the Finance Minister for archeological research, a decision made (maybe merely coincidentally) 12 days after the John the Baptist "discovery", the request was made by Culture Minister Vezhdi Rashidov (the same minister targeted for resentment in artistic circles for his mergers and closures of performing arts institutions).

Again, for the record, the funding of excavations and other work on St Ivan island has been paid for mainly by the embassy of Norway in Sofia, which has contributed 90 per cent of the 644 000 leva.

Finally and separately, a Bulgarian newspaper said that the church in Sozopol, which along with the purported John the Baptist relics also will be keeping  relics of St Andrew Protokletos and a piece of the true cross donated by Borissov, required 500 000 leva to complete restoration.

"If the church is restored to its proper appearance and gathers the three holy objects, it will turn into the most sacred place in Bulgaria and even on the Balkans," this report said.