The wonderfully smooth and gravitas-personified older statesman, the late Lord Roy Jenkins, once delivered a withering put-down to a British conservative minister in the dying days of John Major's beleaguered administration. "I've never seen a government so desperately in need of being 'welieved' of office," said the wonderfully witty "Woy" who found the letter "R" somewhat challenging.

Well, fast forward to January 2010, and we have a British government in even greater need of "welief".

Sadly, Gordon Brown's protracted winter of discontent is destined to limp on for a few more weeks. Short of an extraordinary occurrence – and there are no circumstances in which I can foresee such a development (I adopt the Michael Heseltine formula of words just for safety) – Brown will disappear in the spring and be quickly forgotten. I do hope so. To those expats watching events in snowbound (ha ha!) UK from afar, ask yourself this question: Does Labour deserve re-election? Ask yourselves not what the Conservatives can do for you, but what you can do to eject Labour.

But let's be clear. An incoming Cameron-led government will have to make swingeing spending cuts and tax increases to stave off bankruptcy. A new administration confronts social meltdown on an unprecedented scale – inner city decay, a nationwide sickness of binge drinking and "youf" crime – and draining overseas military commitments.

The other big issues, scarcely mentioned in a British press preoccupied with inter-cabinet feuds, will be the increasingly fragile state of the European Union (I have said before I can envisage a Soviet-style collapse of the EU in its present form) and an urgent review of the criminal justice system.

There IS good news, however. That other creature challenged by the letter "R" – but not even worthy of mention in the same breath as the wonderfully wegal Woy – will shortly be removed from BBC TV screens and will hopefully take his putrid little backside over the pond for good.

Rather like the fevered mob in Orwell's 1984, I recommend to all Brits a good five-minute orgy of hate against Jonathan "Woss" to expunge the January blues. Switch on the TV and stare at his ugly, smug face. Scream obscenities at the screen until your pulsating veins are ready to burst out of your cheeks, until you feel an imminent brain haemorrhage.

Curse that foul-mouthed, over-paid, over-fat, under-talented vulgar windbag with all the invective you can summon. Then pray for a resurrection of decency in a country once know for its gentlemanly ways. Let's hope the BBC learns its lesson from the whole wretched debacle and tries to haul itself out of the toilet.

Wouldn't it be wonderful if the BBC scrapped Eastenders as well? But perhaps an attack of good taste on that scale is too much to ask for.