With 007 back on the big screen once again, a little snippet in the news the other week reminded me of the best movie in the whole spy series, From Russia with Love.

A terrific film, the plot centres around snaring the imperturbable MI6 agent in a "honeytrap", which, as you will all know, in espionage is a trap set to compromise a person using sex as the lure.

Bond's ravishing bait in the film is a beautiful bit of eyecandy called Tatiana Romanova, a corporal in Soviet Army intelligence who at one point walks naked across his room and climbs into his bed wearing only a black velvet choker. No doubt a lesser man than 007 would easily have succumbed to such temptation and dished over even the co-ordinates of the bidets in Buckingham Palace with quite so an alluring approach.

Not him, though.

Nor the Euro-chaps in Belgium, obviously.

You see, according to various newspapers, 70 per cent of the ladies of the night in Brussels are from Bulgaria.

And the city just happens to be the HQ of the EU.

Get my drift?

A honeytrap of vast proportions, no?

So, is everyone missing a trick or a thousand about this? Or are several secret brains at intelligence HQ already ahead of the game?

No doubt. But if so, then I have some choking bad news, boys. Your whole "Smiley People" plan to recruit assorted European Union sugar daddies to the Bulgarian cause is backfiring big time!

I mean, we are down another 220 million euro just in the past couple of weeks, let alone the billion or so earlier in the year. And I always thought the money was supposed to go the other way.

So what are these Jezebels doing all night?

Sleeping on the job? Yes, I know, that's the point. But what I am actually suggesting here are `zzzzz's, not lying back and thinking of their country.

Or is a whole lot just constantly lost in translation? In which case, have a friendly tip-off darlings. Next time you are asked for a threesome, what the bureaucratic goldfinger may possibly be referring to is a "free sum". So, why not just answer "Ooooh, expensive gravy train tastes, sir, that'll be a mere 500 million. Cash, credit or subsidy?"

Now, if this were any other country, I'd allow for the fact that 70 per cent of the 70 per cent could well be blonde and thus confused as to what the whole honeytrap thing is in the first place. But surely, this can't apply to BG chicks, even if all the peroxide in the national coffers were utilised. So no, it can't be that.

Whatever the true reason for the failure of the strategy is, so far, though, I am foxed if I can suss it out.

But it doesn't really matter.

The point is, girls, the nation positively can't afford any further withdrawals of EU funding, so now it really is one of those times when you shouldn't ask what your country can do for you, but rather what you can do for your country.

And the answer is, of course, crack more whip! From Bulgaria with love!