Rating: 0/5
Director: Jason Friedberg, Aaron Seltzer
Genre: comedy
Running time: 90`

Disaster Movie is well on the way to being a self-fulfilling prophecy: a movie it is not, but a disaster - most definitely. It is an artless, cheerless, humourless insult to the parody genre, which I fear, has forgotten its job to be entertaining.

We are left pining for the long lost days of Blazing Saddles, Airplane, The Naked Gun or Hot Shots; this is the age of Scary Movie, Epic Movie, Date Movie or whatever else Jason Friedberg and Aaron Seltzer are allowed to put on the big screen. Who exactly allows them to commit their crimes on taste, humour and cinema itself, and why, will be answered one day by cinema historians, for now we are left with the unenviable task of scraping even more deeply the bottom of the movie barrel.

Friedberg and Seltzer may believe that referencing countless movies still fresh in the memory of moviegoers is enough to get a string of laughs, but on the evidence on display, this could not be further from the truth.

I dare anyone to find a single gag to laugh at in this poor excuse for entertainment. I know I couldn't. I registered feeble nods to Hancock, The Incredible Hulk, Iron Man, The Love Guru, Juno, Indiana Jones and the Kingdom of the Crystal Skull, Superbad, Enchanted, No Country for Old Men, Alvin and the Chipmunks, A Night at the Museum, You Don't Mess with the Zohan, Sex and the City, Wanted, High School Musical, Cloverfield, The Day After Tomorrow and Twister.

Not all of these films are masterpieces, but you are better off seeing any one of them rather than Disaster Movie.

The highlights are Alvin and the Chipmunks eating Juno, and Hannah Montana being squashed by an asteroid. Oh yes, there is also an appearance by an Amy Winehouse lookalike who makes strange faces for a full minute in front of a caveman. None of this is as funny as it sounds, though. Rather than laughter or even a smile, all gags Friedberg and Seltzer come up with provoke a mixture of bewilderment, sadness and disgust. They are either too flimsily conceived and stillborn or drawn out to yawn-inducing proportions. The unholy duo do not discriminate between genres and try to cram in as many familiar titles as possible.

The result is a confusing mish-mash, which generates repulsion and not an ounce  of humour. At the end you think more highly of the movies spoofed, even  if you did not like them much the first time you saw them.

The only audience that might find some amusement in Disaster Movie are teens who enjoyed Friedberg and Seltzer's previous output, and even they will spend more time texting their friends how much more they preferred Scary Movie to this offering. The rest of you are best advised to stay away from Disaster Movie; you are much better off seeing Death at the Funeral again, or for a first time, if you are looking for a laugh.