Soon be time to turn the clocks back again.

But...er...why bother?

Who takes the slightest bit of notice as to what hour it is anyhow?

Let's face it some people here plainly run on Moscow time, some Johannesburg, most sleepy students moonlight on a Dracula-like schedule, and to really rub it in quite a lot of public sector folk and builders seemingly even plump for a bizarre version of Saudi horology and are thus still in the year 1429 or thereabouts. Yes, now you understand the true reason for the endless delay of that elusive appointment. It isn't due for another six centuries.

Whatever your zone of choice, however, one thing is certain. Everything and everyone here is in a rush but nothing happens when it is supposed to.

Douglas Adams, a man who knew his galaxy well, once said that "time is an illusion and lunchtime doubly so'" Except in Bulgaria where "time is a delusion, everything takes twice as long including lunch".

So instead of the nation endlessly pretending to follow EET, why not just officially adopt BTT?

Bulgarian Tortoise Time.

Little would have to be done. Minor lobbying of the government plus a vague nod, sorry, shake of the head from Joe Publicov and we are in action. Unity renders power!
Methinks this quick stitch would put the boot in on a lot of issues.

Let me elaborate.

For starters, the word "late" would magically cease to exist, much to the glee of Captain Oates type waiters around town (I may be some time...with your veg). Large tip please.

As for girlfriends, wives and women in general, well, they would love it too. Being "missing in action" for a date because of an instinctive reliance on intuition, not a watch, to tell the time would never have to be blushingly explained away again. Phew, veloceraptor temper tantrums would instantly be a thing of the past. Party time!

What's more, bottleneck stress created by the agriculturally slow traffic jams in the city would disappear in a flash. Time would simply and legitimately stand still for as long as you do.

Sure, there'd be complaints. Mostly from "time is money" breakfast-meeting types who fly in from HQ and demand you mull management muddles over muesli with them at precisely 7am sharp. But these road warriors could easily be foxed by issuing them with a free timepiece at the airport, courtesy of the boys behind the Cathedral. After all a man with a watch knows what time is. But a man with two is never sure! Especially when one of them is on the blink.

Get the beat? All in BTT is a winner isn't it?

Apart from the obvious minor glitch in my terrific timekeeping plan.

The actual kick-off date would be forever constantly delayed.

Second that?