Dear Family Matters reader,

This issue of Family Matters is not for you. It is for your teen, if you have one. Snip it and give it to him/her. We know most of them are probably not perusing our pages on a regular basis so make the effort for them - maybe it will resonate. Watch for Teens Talk in the future as we address other issues that may be of interest to this group.

Do you remember when your parents broke the news that they were moving you to Bulgaria? Maybe it was not a family decision. Maybe you were not part of the discussion at all. Maybe you were completely against the idea but nobody bothered to ask your opinion.

"Your father has a new job."

"It'll be better money."

"It's only for two years."

Two years is a lifetime when you are in 10th grade. You try to tell yourself that everything will be the same when you get back. In the meantime, you can Skype or SMS your friends, but, deep down, you know that things probably will not be the same. They are having fun doing everything that you love to do, and doing it without you. While they are hanging out at the mall, eating at your favourite cafe, watching your favourite shows, you are here trying to figure out what to do in Bulgaria. Sometimes it seems like life really stinks and nobody cares.

I begged a group of high school students from the American English Academy to talk straight with me about living in Bulgaria. They did not want to do it, but I would not give up and they have good hearts, so they did me a favour. I owe them. Amidst the laughter and the jokes (very loud laughter and really bad jokes), I think I heard their voice.

Bottom line… Living in Bulgaria can be tough. Parents move families for a million different reasons, some good reasons, some bad, but it does not make the reality any easier. Friends are the most important thing in life and leaving them is a crisis. The move is tough and transitioning to Bulgaria from countries that are more affluent is complicated - there is no other way to look at it.

If you are a teenager whose parents already have you pulling down your posters and packing them for Bulgaria, the following information might be helpful. Those teens that are already here - check out what others are saying. Is this life in Bulgaria, as you know it? According to the group of experts that I coerced into talking, here are some of the things you can expect.

There were some surprises awaiting these teens when they arrived in Bulgaria. Malls were shockingly absent (that has changed), shopping was a pain and, of course, they missed their favourite foods and fast-food joints. The roads in Bulgaria were a shocker, as was the lack of big highways. Still with the highway idea, the prostitutes were a surprise - it is a problem, no other way to put that. The old buildings still have that communist feeling and that can be annoying. No one can ignore the oh-so-skinny girls or the ultra-expensive cars. It is a world of extremes. Wear a small size in clothes or else do not bother. Cars - choose a Mercedes or a Lada but middle of the road is hard to find. These students also made an interesting observation - people here tend to spend their money on expensive cars rather than a nice home.

The group was unanimous on what they miss most - friends, of course. Close seconds on that list were shopping (more advice on that later), family and the way of life in their home countries. Advice for what to sack up and bring on the journey ranged from the sarcastic "the culture of my country" to the wishful "my friends" to the practical "peanut butter, marshmallows, Dr. Pepper and Taco Bell" (yep, she's an American).

Pieces of advice this group was willing to share with a teenager moving here ranged in practicality and in humour and are worth sharing. "Better think twice" and "Don't have a heart attack" made me laugh. I appreciated the practical advice of a Greek friend: "Be careful with the taxi drivers - they charge you extra". Wise words from a 17-year-old: "Don't be so pessimistic about stuff, it's not so bad" topped the list.

Bulgaria has some good stuff going for it, so appreciate the positives. This group came up with the following: skate parks, snow sports, expensive cars, mountains and fresh air. They are right, but you can find more and a lot of it depends on personal preference.

What did this group have to say about shopping? Sofia has opened three new malls this year, with Mall of Sofia seeming to top the list mainly because of the wider range of stores. A quick word of advice from the professionals: watch out for the designer knock-offs. Even if they swear that it is real, do not believe them.

So what does this group do for fun? Although they come from all over the world - South America, Taiwan, the US, Korea, Croatia, Greece, Holland, Hungary and Russia, they agreed on the answer. They do the usual: hang out, bowl, catch a movie and shop.

There are many differences in this group - different cultures, different languages, different styles - but they have at least one thing in common: they are making this journey together. It is already evident that they are wiser for it. They are learning how to adapt and that is a good thing. How do you play it smart with the taxis? What do you do when your life does not go exactly as you would have liked? They are figuring it out.

Nobody from this group will paint you an unrealistic picture of the struggle - living in Bulgaria is tough, that is their reality and they deserve to be heard. There is another side to the scenario though. I see them in the hall at school. I have run into them at the mall. What do I see? I see a group of teens who have figured out how to have fun in spite of the downside. There is a lot of laughter and a lot of friendship in the midst of these tough times that will see them through. If they could just work on the quality of their jokes, they would have it made…

Thanks guys for helping me with this article - you know who you are.