In America, a man is often expected to approach a woman directly. One simply expresses one's interest based on the obvious: You say hello and ask, say, for a woman's number based on the fact that she's attractive and you'd like to see if the two of you might get along.

After the ice is broken, we have a complicated mating ritual involving the amount of days before we should call the number, whether we should call back if the woman doesn't return our message and how many dates a couple should go on before things become more intimate. The system, like America itself, purports to be based on equality and the rule of law.

Unfortunately for me, the American approach fails miserably in Bulgaria. Every woman I've dated here I've met through third parties who have vouched - sometimes under duress - for my sanity. These sorts of encounters occur all the time in America, of course, but here it seems that practically all women look askance at spontaneous approaches from strangers.

Once you've managed to find a Bulgerka who reciprocates your amorousness, the mating ritual operates at high speed. In America, it is considered gauche in the beginning of a relationship to call and spend too much time with one's prospective significant other. In Bulgaria, it's quite alright from the outset to "really lay it on" as we say in the `States, meaning long, wistful stares and other shows of affection that American couples only exhibit after they've pledged their undying love to each another.

Speaking of love, the L word might be bandied about, too, early in the relationship. But I've found that most Bulgerkas seem to view American love as a hopelessly idealistic notion. Bulgarian love appears to mean friendship and passion (not necessarily in that order) without the contractual-like obligation it entails in the US.

This comfort level can go too far. Don't be alarmed if a Bulgerka discusses moving out of her parents' house and into your apartment after a few weeks of dating. My advice: Simply avoid the question. The subject often goes away. If necessary, adamantly refuse. The relationship won't necessarily be harmed.

But this point raises another issue: In general, I've found that Bulgerkas are far more accepting of behaviour my female compatriots would consider insensitive or brusque. I don't think this attitude is about being thick-skinned. I'm not going to lay blame at the feet of Bulgarian men (though others might). I think it has something to do with Americans wanting everything, including their emotional interactions, candy-coated and couched in an overwrought language of mutual respect.

After all, if a woman asked to live with you in the US and you declined, that would probably signal the end of the relationship.