Yes, it is the water.  Thousands and thousands of litres of it.  When it rains in Stara Zagora, it pours.

Well, not quite as much as in Kapitan Andreevo or Blagoevgrad.  But what in the world are we to do with it all?

Water flows through our streets like the Nile River before the Nasser Dam.  In fact, you actually could use a small rowboat right in front of our block.  You see, the street is made in the form of a "v". Naturally, this is to make it more convenient for drivers to save money.  When the clouds open up and bless us with their gifts, we can all row our way to work and save all kinds of fuel money.

However, you're stuck if you don't have a trusty canoe or old rowboat sitting around.  Hundreds of years after most of the rest of the world discovered macadamising roads, they are still trying to figure it out here in Stara Zagora.

"Hmmmm," says the designer of the local streets.  "Let's make all of the streets: 1) flat as a pancake, 2) low in the middle and high on the curbs, or 3) flat AND full of holes like the craters of the moon or Swiss cheese!"  What a terrific idea!

Now we can all go fishing without having to leave the city.

There is even one street in town that actually serves as a drainage river.  It leads directly in to the famous Stara Zagora mosquito canal in case of heavy rains.

Naturally, the locals who have the great fortune to live on said street are not exactly jumping for joy.  Several times they've visited the powers-that-be to request that they fix their holy canal.

"Why, no.  We can't do this," replies the city.  "This street serves as a drainage canal into the real canal."

This is the point when citizen Ivan scratches his head and asks, "Well, what about building a drainage pipe for the water?"

Naturally, this would make way too much sense and would be far too easy of a solution for the street poo-bahs.  "No, no, no!  You just don't understand how complicated this problem is, citizen Ivan!" says Boris the bureaucrat. After all, what is government for, if not to complicate the simple, make expensive the cheap, and throw a monkey wrench into the wheels of progress?

Besides, then they wouldn't be able to appoint a commission to "study" this damp debate and make speeches about needing the EU to send the city drainage experts!

This is the point where citizen Ivan leaves the office muttering vague obscenities under his breath, and thinking bad thoughts about the ancestry of mentioned official.

It also happens to be the point where poor Ivan goes home, pulls on his rainboots and digs his shovel out of his basement.

That night he tosses shovels full of dirt and rocks into Stara Zagora Stream Street. He'll also thrown in a few broken bricks from the nearby failed co-operative apartment block.  And add some broken hunks of concrete, just for spice.

And what happens?  The next time the deluge develops, the real canal is plugged up with mudpies, bricks and cement like a bathtub with a cork in the drain. Mosquito canal is now Mudpie Lake.  So, now Boris the bureaucrat actually has to do something about it all. Other than stamp all of those oh-so-important papers all day, that is.

And as usual, citizen Ivan has the last laugh and goes to sleep with a smile on his face.
 
KM Brown
Stara Zagora