AFTER spending a week in the UK I am so happy to be back in Bulgarian civilisation.

Contrary to popular belief, I am absolutely convinced that my health is much better served by the air of Sofia than the invisible pollution of London. Immediately after landing at Luton Airport, and for the entire week, I experienced a burning pain in my throat which disappeared within hours after returning home, something that has occurred several times in the past.

After clearing the usual arrogant and patronising representatives of Her Royal Majesty, I had the dubious pleasure of using a `Thameslink' train from Luton to Brighton. On the two-hour journey I changed seats twice as they were broken and too dirty to sit on. The carpet looked like it was last attended to during the coronation of Queen Victoria, and the toilet as if it had been used by a gathering of Millwall supporters.

After a short but pleasant stay in Brighton (plug: http://www.hotelpelirocco.co.uk/), I dreaded my return back to the Big Smoke and the trip back was no better than the first, except for the toilets as I refrained from the pleasure...

The descent into the dirty, stinking dungeons of the capital of all Brits and using their underground transportation system at almost eight leva one way can only be described as an act of extreme masochism.

I have come to the conclusion that riding the bus, tram, and especially the underground in Sofia is a far more pleasant and hygienic experience.

The dirt and the smell of the platforms only seem to be getting worse since the first time I visited some 32 years ago.

Fortunately, I had booked my favourite London hotel (plug: www.abbeycourthotel.co.uk) in Nottinghill Gate so at least I had a place to hide.

The prices in comparison with Sofia were on average three to five times higher and the culinary experience was one to be missed.

On my way there and back I stopped in Budapest to visit my lovely wife Lilly who is working hard on her Masters Degree in Medieval Studies at the CEU. Besides the visit, it also allowed me to be a cheap Dutchman and fly with the even cheaper Wizzair (plug: www.wizzair.com).

The only downside of Budapest in comparison with London and Sofia are the notoriously criminal taxi drivers. It makes hardly any difference if you take a legal or an illegal one, as they all try to scam you with tricks such as driving away quickly without returning your change while you are dealing with your luggage which they have put in the middle of the street, very flexible taxi-meters and even pick-pocketing your left side as you are leaving the cab. This week Lilly's mobile phone disappeared in such a manner. The internet is full of horror stories about this menace to the otherwise great image of this beautiful city. I strongly recommend the following alternatives:

Minibus - Like most airports, Budapest airport operates a shuttle service called an airport minibus. Passengers are taken to the previously requested address by microbuses with eight to 11 seats.  It costs about 10 euro for a round trip. See the airport website www.bud.hu for more information.

Wizzair operates its own minibuses and information can be found on their website www.wizzair.com. I used both the minibus services and never had a complaint.

Metro and bus - Budapest airport is relatively well accessible by public transport. Passengers are taken by a direct bus service, called the airport bus, from Terminals 1 and 2, and from there, bus 93 from Terminal 1 takes you to Kobanya-Kispest metro station. On the blue (number two) metro line, you can reach Deak Ferenc Square in the city in 20 minutes. Public transport can be used for a fare: the one-way through-ticket costs HUF 160 (50 cents). For more information about public transport in Budapest see www.bkv.hu.

I am so pleased that Sofia Airport now uses OK Supertrans Taxi (plug: www.oktaxi.net) to assure the safe ground transport of passengers. (Tel. 02-9732121). They even have an office in the arrivals hall of the airport. Expect to pay between seven and 10 leva to the centre.