FOOTBALLER Ban Judi left his birthplace in Cote d'Ivoire at the age of 17 looking to make it big in the world of football, but today bitterly regrets choosing to make his temporary home in Bulgaria.

Having spent four years in the country, he says, his life has become filled with bitterness and sorrow, because of two acts of violence against him, and because he has become filled with insecurity.

Having been beaten up twice by skinheads, Judi concludes with regret that the country is a kingdom of racism.

As the first foreigner to play for the Vihren Sandanski football club, he became friends with many of his team-mates. But he spends most of his free time at home training or listening to music.

" After these two assaults, I never feel safe on the streets" he says, but qualifies this by saying that there are also good Bulgarian people who he might, under certain circumstances, call his friends.

He left his home town, and then in turn Lebanon, in search of the better opportunities offered by playing football in a foreign country. Now he sees this move as having been a mistake.

"Lebanon was great, but in life there are always mistakes people make."

He feels dissatisfied about many things in Bulgaria, including his work contract, which he has now terminated. He says there are reasons for his disillusionment that he does not want to talk about.

Among his best friends, there are people in the same position, who came from foreign countries in the hope of advancing their football career.

These friends call him "a survivor", he says, and believes that this label speaks for itself.

In his four years in the country, he has travelled between Sandanski, in south-western Bulgaria, and Sofia. He says he would rather live in Sandanski for the good-natured people. However, the variety of people and places to see in Sofia makes life in the capital city much more colourful. He adds, however, that he is not a night owl because he has to stay in training.

After spending years in Dubai, Lebanon and several other parts of Europe, Judi sees Bulgaria as less tolerant than the rest of the continent.

He says that people in this country are not ready to join a union of countries where there is no racism.

There is racism in Bulgaria, he says, adding that it is targeted mainly at foreigners.

"The only thing the police are concerned with, is whether you have your documents with you allowing you to be in the country," Judi says.

He adds that he really wants Bulgaria to become a good country and part of Europe. But if Bulgarians want this, there should be many changes, starting with the mentality of people, he said.

"I wish Bulgarians would accept foreigners."

The first time he was attacked, his face was badly injured, and the experience was terrifying.

The second time left scars on his cheek and his forehead - and in his heart. The incident took place at 9pm on August 28. Waiting for a marshrutka taxi (a minibus taxi that does not keep regular routes), he decided to jump on the bus in Students Town. As he sat in the rear of the bus, his attackers moved in with a broken bottle.

"I was not prepared for the assault and I still cannot understand why nobody helped me," Judi says.

He cannot believe why a human being would show so much detestation for another human being, who has not even spoken or looked at him.

"They planned this for quite some time," Judi says.

He says the racism of his attackers was matched by that of two taxi drivers who refused to take him to hospital.

"Covered in blood, I asked to be taken to hospital, but the driver said no, I cannot take you."

In Bulgaria, foreigners have no freedom, a problem he has experienced intensely.

"This is the truth," he says.

After he was attacked, he wanted deeply to keep news of the incident from his mother. She would feel helpless, worried, and even could have a heart attack, he says.

Should he leave, there is little he would miss about Bulgaria. Neither his fondness for mousakka, nor the few good people he has met here, could override his love for his native country.