WALKING the halls of school for the first time can be quite a shock for the new kid on the block. Just ask Annie Mendes a student at the Anglo-American School (AAS) in Sofia.

"I was not scared about being the new kid, but I was nervous," she said. Despite attending orientation and meeting her teacher in advance, the first day was still plagued with difficulties.

The bus was late and there was a mix-up about the proper entry door. "Another girl and I were running around trying to find our way in," she said.

But the worst came when she walked into the classroom: "At my old school the girls wore skirts, but here they all wore jeans." Ouch. That is an awkward moment at an awkward age.

It is difficult to fit in when you are the new kid and the AAS has a program in place to help newcomers and their families learn what to expect. "AAS does a lot to ease this transition," said the school's director, Eric Larson.

"First we try to inform parents and children of what emotions they may encounter," said Larson. "From the initial honeymoon period where everything is new and exciting, to the disorientation period where the host country culture may seem very different...and they may wonder 'why did I come here anyway?' to a period of recovery and adjustment. Almost everybody goes through these stages and the important thing is to understand that these feelings are normal."

But being told this by a teacher is a lot different than hearing it from a peer. This is why the AAS counsellor runs a "buddy" program, where new kids are set up with friends to help them adjust. "The kids were all very nice to me," said Mendes, "that helped a lot. I made a lot of new friends right away."

Meeting new friends and learning creative problem solving are some of the long-term advantages of moving home. "Resilient is one of the favourite adjectives applied to military children," writes Mary Edwards Wertsch in her book, Military Brats: Legacies of Childhood Inside the Fortress.

Forced to change schools every few years, Wertsch said: "By the time we reach adulthood, we've met so many thousands of people, weathered such diversity of predicaments that we are unlikely to be fazed by much.

"Among the useful traits we acquire: independence, willingness to take risks, flexibility. We know how to read people quickly, initiate new projects, get along with almost anyone and bounce back from disaster."

"You can often tell children with multiple international experiences from those who are living overseas for the first time," said Larson. "One child at our school is now living in his fifth country and he has never lived in his native country.

"Children with such experiences normally begin at a new school very quietly, watching other children and how friendships, school and everyday life work. Following this process of observation they will tend to blend in, and in this child's case, he became one of the most active and popular members of the school."

Mendes was also able to blend in quickly. After two years in Sofia she is completely comfortable in her new environment and has made the transition well.

Bonnie Carlson Phillips, an expat mum, also has well-adjusted kids thanks to a little help from her friends. "Now that my kids are the old kids on the block, we will make every effort to invite over all of the new kids in their class. I so appreciated other people helping out my kids when we arrived, I think we all have a responsibility to offer it in return later."

So if you see a new kid this week running around late, locked out and wearing a skirt, know that she just needs a friendly face and a little time to overcome the shock of moving home!





Additional Resources:



Military Brats: Legacies of Childhood Inside the Fortress by Mary Edwards Wertsch. Adult-oriented view of growing up globally within the military establishment.



The Third Culture Kid Experience by David Pollack and Ruth Van Reken.



www.ecis.org/sofia - Anglo-American School website.